how firm thy friendship

As I write this, both the medical school hooding ceremony and the University Commencement have passed. I am now, officially, Dr. Amy Manning, MD. Being one of the newly minted doctors of the Class of 2013 and being a member of this amazing class at all are both wonderful feelings. The last four years have been incredible, and they have flown by. I never imagined that medical school would be as much fun as it was. Moving here from the University of Michigan and Ann Arbor, I never imagined that I'd love Ohio State and Columbus as much as I do. There, I said it: I love Ohio State. It's going to be hard to leave this place behind.

The last four years have brought with them the many hours of hard work that I expected they would, but they have also brought some unexpectedly perfect moments and experiences. The patient with heart failure whose lungs I asked to listen to, who later thanked me for listening to her (and I don't think she meant to her breath sounds). The jokes shared during a 4:30am walk to the hospital with a friend. The four foreign countries visited, some for vacation, some for medical service and learning, but all of which were fun and breathtaking in their own ways. The random and highly generous woman who gave me and four friends a ride to yesterday's commencement when we were running late (I tell you, hitchhiking is much easier in a cap and gown). And the sense of community and purpose that pervaded it all.

...

On Sunday, May 5th, OSU held its Spring Commencement. I hadn't planned on going originally; the hooding ceremony is the one that really counts for medical students, and the one my family came to share with me. But since my schedule is recently very open (read: I'm bored) and I still had the costume, I decided to join some friends on the field at Ohio Stadium for the conferral of our actual degrees and for President Obama's graduation speech.

I'll never truly understand the level of hype around having the President speak at your graduation ceremony. I also attended the University of Michigan graduation when he gave the 2010 address, and I wasn't drinking the kool-aid then either. Sure, he's a charismatic speaker and an international celebrity, but the overall effect of his speech left me feeling nothing. Packed with buzzwords ("citizenship" and "patriotism") and thinly-veiled political partisanship, Obama said little of actual substance. You can watch the speech below, but at nearly a half hour in length, I'd say Obama overstayed his welcome.

Not to make this about any rivalry (because obviously I have very little shit to give about the Michigan-OSU rivalry; I've got two horses in that race), but contrast this to the address given at Michigan this Saturday by Twitter CEO Dick Costolo. Costolo is a much smaller "name", but not only does he have a real connection to the university, having graduated in 1985 with a degree in computer science, Costolo has a real story to tell. His address is both humorous and human, and echoes the 2005 Stanford address given by Steve Jobs. Be the judge yourself, but I'd take Costolo's over Obama's any day.

everything is beautiful and nothing hurts

I MATCHED!!! Match Day 2013 was Friday, and, surrounded by family and friends, I found out I'll be spending the next 5 years in Cincinnati training to become an otolaryngologist. Which is awesome, and I couldn't be more thrilled. It's the culmination of years of hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and of course lots of $$$. The entire last year (and indeed really last four) have been pointing toward this day, this achievement... my dreams are coming true. Graduation seems like a formality now that I know I have a concrete plan ahead of me, now that I know I'll get to train in my chosen specialty. The work of medical school is almost 100% done; now is the time to celebrate.

Why then, do I keep feeling an overwhelming urge to cry? Maybe it's the inevitable fallout of so much anticipation, the kind of let-down I felt following each big skating competition. Perhaps, though, it's in the realization that soon, very soon, the people I have come to know and love so much over the past four years will scatter, dispersed across the continent to pursue their futures, but never again to truly be the same cohesive unit that we have become. These people were strangers at the beginning of all of this, but as we've laughed, complained, studied, traveled, partied, lived  and loved together, we've become a family. I guess we've always known it was coming to this. But at the beginning, four years sounds interminable, and you never really think about how many mixed feelings you'll have when the moment actually arrives. Starting over in a new place is hard, and right now a big part of me just wants to curl up in a ball and try to hang on to all of the amazingness that the last four years have been.

I know I felt the same way about leaving my undergrad "home" when I began med school. In a few short months, that beginning will come to an end, and another will start. I'm scared. It'll be the hardest thing yet. Am I good enough? I know, though, in my innermost self that I am, and I will be.

Happy is what happens when all your dreams come true, isn't it?